The Boiling Point

The Book of Mormon tells the story of a family that was commanded by God to leave Jerusalem and subsequently wandered in the wilderness toward a promised land--somewhat reminiscent of the children of Israel under Moses’ leadership.

I want to focus on one particular part of their journey, the trials this family faced, and their varied reactions to those trials.

At the point in the story I would like to focus, the prophet and patriarch Lehi and his family and in-laws (some 2-3 dozen people potentially) have wandered in the desert for upwards of eight years. Like the children of Israel with Moses, they were told that they are headed to a promised land, but they don’t know exactly where the promised land is and when they will get there. As they travel, the Lord guides them through “the more fertile parts of the wilderness” which I imagine are few and far between on the Arabian peninsula.

At one point in their journey and amidst other trials, their hunting bows break and they are left without a way to get food. Things begin to fall apart. Nephi--Lehi's son--recounts the situation:

And it came to pass that we did return without food to our families, and being much fatigued, because of their journeying, they did suffer much for the want of food.

And it came to pass that Laman and Lemuel [Nephi’s older brothers] and the sons of Ishmael [Nephi’s brothers-in-law] did begin to murmur exceedingly, because of their sufferings in the wilderness; and also my father [the prophet] began to murmur against the Lord his God; yea, and they were all exceedingly sorrowful, even that they did murmur against the Lord. (1 Nephi 16:19-20)

I can’t begin to imagine what a trial this was for Lehi, Nephi, and their family. They’ve been walking through the desert “for the space of many days,” living in tents (remember Lehi’s family was very well off in Jerusalem), bearing children (1 Nephi 17:1), walking towards a land that they must trust in God exists, and dealing with all manner of daily trials: weather, sandstorms, ripped tents, lost livestock, sickness, carrying everything they own, etc. Not to mention enduring the incessant complaining and outright violence of their own family members: Laman, Lemuel, and the sons of Ishmael.

Any one of these trials individually is enough to more than frustrate anyone and push anyone to their boiling point. The situation challenged the faith of everyone in the group, including the prophet himself. I believe that we can learn a lot from what happens next. Nephi’s account continues:

Now it came to pass that I, Nephi, having been afflicted with my brethren because of the loss of my bow, and their bows having lost their springs, it began to be exceedingly difficult, yea, insomuch that we could obtain no food. …

And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did make out of wood a bow, and out of a straight stick, an arrow; wherefore, I did arm myself with a bow and an arrow, with a sling and with stones. And I said unto my father: Whither shall I go to obtain food? (1 Nephi 16:21, 23)

Nephi was experiencing the same trials. He, too, had a family to care for and exhausted mouths to feed. He, too, walked the same distance in the same weather toward the same unknown destination.

Yet Nephi chose not to harden his heart and complain or murmur against God. Rather, he allowed the trials to soften his heart and he chose to rely even more upon the Lord. He was proactive in doing what he could to remedy the situation and then turned in humility to the prophet and to God for guidance and help with how to best deal with this trial.

This story reminds me of an analogy I heard years ago of a carrot and an egg. A speaker at a youth event held up a raw egg and asked what happens to the egg when left in boiling water. The answer: it becomes hard. She then held up a carrot and asked what happens to a carrot in boiling water. The answer: it becomes soft. Both foods in the exact same extreme situation react completely differently.

During trials and tough situations we always have a choice. When we reach our boiling points we can choose to become hardened and embittered and react like Nephi’s brothers. Or we can turn to the Lord and soften our hearts in humility and, like Nephi, allow God to help us through our trials. The choice is ours.

My personal reflection

For me, Nephi is an example of optimism and hope. When I originally started this post, I was in the middle of my program at the University of Oxford. Now, as I actually finish this post a couple years later, we live in Berlin pursuing a dream to live in Germany.

I know that we have been guided along this path and are extremely blessed to learn from such a diverse group of people and experiences. Our experience abroad has been incredible and nothing like we could have imagined.

However, this journey is not all rainbows and butterflies. On the contrary, the program and experience in Oxford was, at times, extremely trying and discouraging. Oslo was born 3 months early as I was trying to complete my capstone. Getting settled in Germany has been a long and patience-trying process. I'm lost, in a way, concerning what career path to follow and how to support my family and my current job situation is far less than ideal. And in general we’re living far from our comfort zones and among a lot of people who have very different beliefs and backgrounds. And all these in addition to the regular trials life throws at us.

But these difficulties are also exactly why this experience is so good for me and for my family. My trials and challenges in life are far from the magnitude of what Nephi and his family experienced, but I am challenged each day with the choice to complain about the things I cannot control, or to do everything I can and then humbly let the Lord make up for the rest, knowing that all things will work together for my good--both temporally and eternally.

Sometimes I’m the carrot and sometimes I’m the egg. But I’d like to think that, with the help of the Lord and His Atonement, I’m becoming more carrot-like every day.